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Funny you should mention this. I’ve had similar conversations about the issue of “please” in English with my supervisor. I work as a legal translator at a law firm and often, when I translate a letter from an attorney into Spanish, I find it odd to translate every single “please” into “por favor.” I definitely agree about the perceived rudeness. When I read a sentence in English that says, “Please sign and return in the envelope provided,” I know that simply saying “Sign and return” in English sounds rude. However, translating it as “por favor firme…” sounds like overkill. In this particular case, though, because I tend to use “usted” when speaking to clients, I feel that’s already being polite and don’t feel the need to add to it by adding “por favor.”

Anyway. I’m neither a Spanish nor an English native speaker, so I can’t really help you; I just wanted to point out that it’s not just Spanish. In my experience, German has the same difference to English, I for one don’t say “please” (and “thank you”, albeit to a lesser extent) as often as most English speakers I’m friends with. And what else struck me was the use of “you’re welcome”, that’s even less common in German compared to English. Maybe that’s true for Spanish as well?

[*] Personally, I think it’s hard to generalise meaningfully about “Spanish speakers” or “English speakers”, since cultural differences within these communities are at least as significant as differences between them.

Even so, I have to say that I’d probably omit the “por favor” if I were the one speaking it. I really only ever use “por favor” if I’m literally asking someone to go out of their way to do something for me. I don’t know if this is a universally “Spanish-speaking” thing (because, as you say, it’s hard to generalize) or if it’s personal preference, but most Spanish speakers I know do the same.

Another one that always gets my goat is that I’ve noticed many (though by no means all, or even a majority, I wouldn’t imagine) speakers of American English who don’t say “you’re welcome” or “no problem” or the like when someone thanks them, but just “yeah”, or “sure”. Even though on the intellectual level I know nothing’s meant by it, my cultural instinct is still to be affronted.

I’ve noticed many (though by no means all, or even a majority, I wouldn’t imagine) speakers of American English who don’t say “you’re welcome” or “no problem” or the like when someone thanks them, but just “yeah”, or “sure”.

I stayed with an English family for a summer course when I was 16. At school, I’d been taught the proper response to “thanks” was “not at all”, but other people said it was “you’re welcome”. We never managed to figure it out, because the families kept nagging us about our lack of “please and thanks” but they never ever answered when we did thank them. It truly felt like a slap to the face; I would have probably snapped at them if I’d had the language skills to do so.

At some point I decided that this just wasn’t done in English. It took a while to get used to, though. If somebody thanked me in places like this I’d spend a while trying to repress the urge to post a comment just to say “you’re welcome”; now that urge is gone

I still get terribly offended if a Spanish speaker doesn’t say “de nada”, though.

I use please and thanks all the time, but I also say “sure” in response to “thanks” in informal situations. To me it’s a shorter way to say “Of course/anytime/I was happy to [do whatever] for you.” I’m from the US, DC area. I don’t know either if it’s a lot of people who do this, but it sounds fine to me. “Yeah” sounds even less formal (like, we’d better be friends) but not rude to me.